Donna Kay Harper

Donna Kay Harper spent her career as a psychotherapist guiding hundreds of clients through personal crises. She gave them the support, insight and tools they needed to get on with their lives. She had a remarkable talent for drawing people into intimate, revealing conversations.

“Clients knew they were deeply cared for, and that’s what drew people to her -- her passion and empathy -- and she was just flat-out skilled,” said her longtime friend and professional colleague Nina Grueneberger.

Sadly, for the final 10 years of her life, Donna had to draw on all her skills to deal with a rare, painful disease she knew was incurable.

“She found a way to continuously rally, physically, emotionally, spiritually,” her son, Eric Harper, said. “It was kind of an acceptance that she would be down, and then she would power through it.” 

Donna died in the early morning hours of Aug. 11 at Sutter Davis Hospital, where she had gone from her Sacramento Delta home in Courtland as symptoms worsened. Her death was hardly a surprise, but just the day before she was laughing and sharing memories with Carol Voyles, a friend of 50 years and fellow licensed clinical social worker. A physical therapist had given advice on ways to get around when she went home. But it was not to be. The ravages of amyloidosis had taken their toll. 

According to the Mayo Clinic, where Donna received treatment periodically, amyloidosis is a rare disease characterized by a buildup of abnormal amyloid deposits in the body, relentlessly targeting organs such as the heart, kidneys, liver, spleen, nervous system and digestive tract. Life expectancy after diagnosis depends on the type and stage, ranging from four to 11 years.

Donna was given five to seven years when she was diagnosed in 2014, said Kevin Brownfield, her partner for 16 years. “She was knocked for a loop and cried that night,” Kevin said. But she wanted the doctors to tell her the truth and they did, saying it would be a long, painful journey with no cure. Donna decided she would do whatever the doctors said for as long as she could, Kevin said.

Donna was born June 24, 1948, in the small, rural town of Evening Shade, Arkansas, population about 350. She liked to joke that it was just down the road from Morning Sun. She was the second of three children. Her father ran a struggling restaurant-café. Her grandparents lived close by, in a 19th-century home lacking an indoor toilet and running water, said her older brother, Ronnie Graddy. 

In the early 1950s, the restaurant failed. Donna’s father, a skilled mechanic, landed a job with the Boeing aircraft company. It was a solid job, but one that required the family to move frequently around the country for the next decade. Ronnie recalled attending about a dozen schools before his father found steady work with the U.S. Air Force at Travis Air Force Base in Fairfield, California, in 1963.

Ronnie remembers that Donna was very attuned to people’s feelings as a child and adolescent and very compassionate. She was easy to talk to and had a down-home style. She could also do a wonderful imitation of their mother’s “Arkie” dialect, Ronnie said with a laugh. 

Donna graduated from Armijo High School in Fairfield in 1966. She headed up the road to Sacramento, where she earned a Bachelor of Arts degree from California State University, Sacramento, followed by a Master’s Degree in Social Work. Before going into private practice as a psychotherapist, Donna worked at the Terkensha North Area Mental Health Clinic and Planned Parenthood. 

Donna married Michael Harper, a Sacramento attorney and law school professor, on June 13, 1971. Their marriage lasted 34 years until his death at 63 in 2005. They had one child, Eric. 

Donna’s challenging childhood gave her compassion and empathy for others, said her colleague Nina Grueneberger, who first met Donna as an undergraduate at CSUS. “She came from the school of hard knocks,” Nina said. They shared that background as well as Southern roots. They traveled together to educational conferences, lunched together frequently and had long supportive talks on professional and personal matters. They felt free to banter in “Arkie” dialect.

“We went through so much together and cared a lot about each other. She knew everything going on with my family and I with hers,” Nina said. “Donna lived life to the fullest. She’s inside of me and she’ll always be inside me. I still talk to her, and I have a pretty good idea what she will say back to me.”

Donna honed her communication skills when she worked for Planned Parenthood in the 1970s, said her longtime friend Carol Voyles. The training involved group dynamics and getting people to talk about sex, things like abortion, birth control and homosexuality. “That was radical back then,” Carol said. “She got comfortable talking about all these uncomfortable things.”

 Gabrielle Giusti Kennedy saw Donna from a different perspective. Growing up, she lived across the street from Donna and Michael on Marian Way in Sacramento. She was a babysitter for Eric and a personal assistant for Donna after Michael’s death. 

“She was like a second mom to me,” Gabrielle said. “She was the most compassionate person I’ve ever known, the least judgmental and so much fun. Very generous. She wasn’t afraid to show emotion. You always knew where you stood with her. She loved the arts and was very supportive. And she had good taste.”

Donna had a talent for interior design, said friend Carol. “Her home was always a piece of art.” She also had a good eye for art others created. Donna owned and ran the Georgiana Gallery in Walnut Grove for several years.

Marla Zorn of Courtland met Donna 10 years ago, just as Donna began her long struggle with amyloidosis. Marla, whose mother was from Oklahoma and father from Texas, got Donna’s Southern roots. She also knew what it was like to grow up in the Church of Christ denomination, which emphasized the Bible as the sole source of authority for faith and aimed to restore the practices of the early Christian church.

“It was a pretty radical group,” Marla said. “It was funny to meet someone in this little town with this background,” she said. They would occasionally break out singing worship songs from their youth. 

Marla loved Donna’s quirkiness, her comic gestures, her silly faces and uninhibited style. “She had no filter on her language, which always cracked my daughter up. You never knew what was going to come out of Donna’s mouth.” 

Marla considered Donna the strongest person she ever met. “No matter how crummy she felt, if she knew somebody was coming over, she would put on her makeup, get dressed and pretend she felt great. … I would see her cry after people left, she was hurting so bad. I felt honored that she would let me into her life as she was.”

Donna’s fighting spirit in the face of an intractable illness was really extraordinary, said friend Gabrielle. “She leaned into it with so much courage.” Her friend Carol said Donna’s suffering seemed to intensify her compassion and kindness toward others. When Carol and mutual friend Michele Swanberg visited Donna, lifetime memories and tears flowed. 

Donna’s fortitude was fueled in part by her love for her teenage granddaughters Sophie and Lauren. Her son, Eric, said his two daughters knew that Donna understood them deeply and had their backs. Her partner, Kevin Brownfield, said Donna desired “to know her grandkids as well as she could for as long as she could.” 

Donna is survived by her partner, Kevin Brownfield, of Courtland, Calif.; her son, Eric Harper, his wife, Maiko Yamagiwa, and their daughters Sophie and Lauren, all of Dallas, Texas; and her brother, Ronnie Graddy, of Nevada City, Calif. Donna was preceded in death by her husband, Michael Harper; her parents, Woodrow and Jeffie Graddy; and her sister, Brenda Graddy.

A memorial service is scheduled Oct. 12 at 11 a.m. at Pioneer Congregational United Church of Christ, 2700 L Street, Sacramento. A gathering for friends and family will follow at the church.